greasy friends

i've often heard proponents of so called "greasy grace" criticized for their theology of "it doesn't matter if i sin because God'll forgive me." certainly this attitude is not the heart of the gospel. instead, it is a deep offense to God's affection for us. having formed my beliefs regarding "greasy grace" quickly, i never took much time to think further on the subject; it seemed too obvious.

lately, however, i have encountered (perhaps recognized would be more accurate) an off-shoot of "greasy grace" that relates not to God, but to other Christians. the scenario goes something like this:

the greasy gracer feels confident that her friends will forgive her oversights, her abuses, her laziness. they won't complain when she returns their nearly new DVD with a big, new scratch; they won't get angry when she backs out of her committments and inconveniences them; they won't feel slighted when she asks them to do her a favor (repeatedly) for free. no, she knows that emotions like anger and frustration and greed (or the appearance of them) aren't very godly, so she feels comfortable with this subtle abuse of and disrespect toward their friendship. certain she doesn't think of it in these terms. she believes she treats others the way she wants them to treat her. she believes Christians should be one big community freely giving and taking without boundaries; after all, that's what they did in the book of Acts, right?

i've never felt comfortable with this perspective, but could not explain my unease... until now. now i see that this dependence upon the good will (grace, if you will) of others is simply laziness and disrespect. when i say to God, "i know i shouldn't do this, but i don't feel like exerting the effort to discipline myself, and i know you'll forgive me...", i am essentially saying, "i don't really care about your heart. your friendship isn't that important to me." and it's the same with others. when i value a friendship, i go out of my way to serve and bless the other person. i do my best to not become a burden to them because of my mistakes or laziness. certainly i know they will have grace for me when i fail, and i am so thankful for that, but i value them so much that i would never determine my actions by measuring how far i can stretch their grace. i value their unique personality and abilities and do not take their help or time for granted. (i would not expect them to do for me for free what they would otherwise be paid for.)

(as a side note, the stories from the book of Acts are historical accounts of what happened. but no where in the Bible does God command us to emulate the actions of the early church. certainly they did many things right, but they made their mistakes too. we must be careful about translating events into commands. in other words, their efforts at community are not intended as a blueprint for us. we can learn from it, but we cannot make it into doctrine.)

so what does this have to do with leaning?

in my first post i mentioned two kinds of leaning: leaning on (due to weakness) and leaning in (pursuit). i now must add a third (negative) type: leaning against (due to laziness). i want to always lean in and to lean on when i need to, but may i never lean against God or others out of laziness!

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord (Romans 12:10-11 NIV).