breaking it down

in my last post i talked about fasting from negativity. it sounds simple enough, right? but when i first tried to implement it in my life, i ran into a problem. if i wasn’t saying anything negative, how did i talk about difficult situations? what should i say when someone did something hurtful or when i’d had a rough day? or should i say nothing at all? how could i avoid negativity without faking it?

i realized i did not have a clear definition for negative speech. but God, in His grace, has since helped me to identify two levels of negativity that have illumined my way forward.

level 1: basic negativity

this is what we initially think of as negative speech (“i hate when it rains”; “his shirt is so weird”; “the pastor really missed it today in church”; and so forth). fighting this sort of negativity is simple. keep your mouth shut. no one needs to know your opinion on the rain, that man’s shirt, or the pastor’s sermon. you are offering completely unnecessary information. even better–find something positive to say. if you must comment, then say something about how the rain will help the farmers or bring cooler weather. tell me that you appreciate the diversity God’s created within us. remind me of the grace with which the pastor serves God and his people.

level 2: hard times negativity

this is where my struggle arose. i didn’t understand that most of us are negative about our difficult situations because we are controlled by our emotional responses (and not in control of them). for example, if someone asks about my day, and it’s been a rough one, i can say “my day sucked!” or i can say, “i’ve had a hard day.” do you see the difference?

the first response is emotionally-driven and is barfing blame on others or on the situation. the second response does not deny the reality of a hard day, but is mature enough to omit the emotional mess (submit it to the Spirit) and own the responsibility of the personal pronoun. sometimes our negativity is fostered by a victim mentality. negativity is a “victim’s” mother tongue. when we believe ourselves captive to our situations, we do not acknowledge that we always choose our response and that we can blame no one but ourselves, no matter how horrible our situation. in the same way, when we recognize the power God has given us to choose His attitudes, to be content in all things, we find the freedom of positive words.

for most of us, this will mean radical change. it will not be easy. we are so used to cozying up with negative and critical words. we find a certain comfort in it. but negativity will compromise the Lord’s destiny for your life. so ask God for creative ideas for how to express truthfully, yet positively, the difficult elements of your life. (This will also come in very handy during conflict and confrontation.)

He is the most creative person in the universe, and He made you in His image. you have within you the seeds of creativity, so use them to find your positive words. no longer do you need to deflect to boring and unimaginative negative words. no, you are free and powerful; you have the mind of Christ.

fasting forward

we often think of fasting in the context of food, but the sort of fast i am about to propose is much more difficult (in my opinion) than any food fast. i propose a negativity fast.

initially this may not seem so hard to you. but try it. see how long you can go without saying something negative or critical. five minutes? ten minutes? if you’re really good, maybe 15? (or if you’re sleeping or completely alone…) hopefully the realization of your propensity toward negativity is sobering. as christians we like to think we’re pretty good people, but God doesn’t say much good about negative and critical people.

Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear” (NASB).

If our positive words literally impart grace to people, as this verse indicates, then we can assume that our negative words hinder or even remove grace from the hearers. grace is God’s empowerment to live in victory; it’s what enables us to live in the Spirit and to embrace God’s ways and thoughts. hindering grace in our own lives or someone else’s is no joking matter.

No wonder God refers to negative words throughout the Bible as “curses.” our words really do impart life or death to the people and situations we encounter (see Prov. 18:21).

so here’s my challenge. commit yourself to a life-long negativity fast. sure, you’ll mess up plenty of times, but at least you’ll be actively fighting the current of our culture and human nature. at least you’ll have a high bar to reach for rather than simply living at status quo. challenge yourself to speak words that impart grace. imagine the difference it would make in your relationships if you always spoke words designed to build up and encourage (even in confrontation).

the possibility truly is heaven on earth! when you live with heaven’s attitudes (blessing rather than cursing, grace rather than condemnation), live as Bill Johnson says “from heaven toward earth,” you will bring the realities of heaven into your earthly relationships and circumstances.

this really could be life-changing.